Tuesday, June 29, 2010

todays horoscope

pretty dead on


You can act very spontaneous today when your mind is liberated from an old emotional attachment. This isn't just about making an artistic statement; it's about reasserting your private connection to a higher spiritual purpose, expressing yourself in a way that helps others see their own true nature. Without a lot of effort, you can use your talents now to positively impact the lives of those around you simply by showing up and being yourself.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

love, cookie cut

I'm starting to wonder if preconceived notions about love poisons everything.

maybe there's no such thing as a "spark". maybe its all just a physical manifestation of energy from our emotions.

in my world love exists without logic & tradition. though my belief in love.. I find myself questioning..

round here

Monday, June 21, 2010


& I..
I see the amber.ed rain
in a world where my kisses were (in) everything
every .muted. breath.
...in lost thoughts of his fingers running backwards
twisting molten through the scarlet waves of my shadows..

those days he was always sackcloth & ashes
kinda like.. he just didn't know..
...when love was the only thing I have ever known

dreams in glass reflections of where we once met &
knew each other briefly
as laughter
bittersweet.. sins
as..... love


& once
I be(lie)ved in love..
bound & gagged
mute.d sun.days
the needle bends.
(..s.hallowed dirty streets...)
everything is wrong again..

silent are the amber hills
on nights following the rains

ember shots in negative .exposure
my worlds on the verge of the upside of down

fevery rosed.. ...& scissored
in silken spirals of a blackened steel blue
I found.. me

Sunday, June 20, 2010

there will always be
an empty spot in my heart
just for you my love

Saturday, June 19, 2010

randomness of angles

random pieces

in the dark sarcasm of fading memories
under a mosaic frailty hidden in my tired eyes
we flooded the lands
& painted my heart lost
in the dying (p)art of my love

something like the big bang..

sideways swept ~ clouds engulfing the sun ~ black obsidian rain ~ & left handed to the night ~ hang yourself at the gates

Ny, Ny

funny how the idea of some things can make you realize you're not as ok as you previously thought.

Friday, June 18, 2010

inside I was thunder&rain ~ gentle winds of regret painted the skies ~ a broken steel breath written on my opal tongue
somber spiral of spiritual anarchy~creation lures, singing dark notes of sanity~sifting thru the dead sands of time

Thursday, June 17, 2010

down Indian Trail

I went walking in a dead forest..

Monday, June 14, 2010

can you see me?

I will walk
white velvet fire on (a) summer daze
in edification for mute souls
behind the winds
blowing kisses in reveries of love

Saturday, June 12, 2010

just barely breathing

I've done something I'm not proud of.. I hope to be able to forgive myself for it one day.

relationships with friends are always a good idea on paper, just like my experiences with men. then what happens when things go wrong? I lose 2 friends in one month. I think my loneliness has lead to some things out of character.. & then everybody gets hurt. I feel.. less. & empty again. I was selfish & wrong & I wish I could tell her I'm sorry..

its been a hell of a month. though peace amongst chaos sounds impossible, I hope to find my balance.

its times like this I try to look at the beautifully unexpected things, connections & friends that I do have. & that means more than anything.


Friday, June 11, 2010

poetic thoughts from the past few days

it is my hearts sullen promise ~ to play this static lullaby ~ see me play broken doll again ~ & let my body burn in reveries of love

starving for intellectual intercourse~I wanted to roll my tongue over every part of your melodic alchemy~except your love~that's poison..

black.. the river runs ~ silence. mourn slaughtered martyrs ~ dark shades of sorrow

awakened ~ I will follow the darkened sun ~ w/sainted angel wings I paint my eyes black ~ breathing embers of love when night falls

..a romantic fatality I suppose ~ under dark eyes & blushed cheeks ~ on this steel blue mo(u)rning ~ I throw my love to dying winds

late night thought

they say you can really can die from a broken heart..

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Blood Red Electric

my energy was lilac explosions of hot pink
I find trembling at his finger tips
reflective shades of me
quietly melting in the midnight rain

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

bleeding photography at Manito


elephant roots

a dragonfly's last breath

when landscapes bled backwards

the twisted roots of my heart

Monday, June 7, 2010

Lacuna Coil

no those horns were not strategically placed. ;)

Saturday, June 5, 2010

round Spokane


I tucked him away in my pocket with dead roses
& old letters
& what was left of my love
why was it never the one with holes..

Friday, June 4, 2010

of dead seas

a prelude to static

his love was honey & vodka
& I had fallen with tattered lace wings on a silken summer breeze,
in remembrance of faded romance
& such things

Random Photography

reflective oceans of me

to find an awareness shift, it really is all about being ok
with yourself. we tend to get caught in a negative sub conscious
pattern of mentally beating ourselves up. it has alot to do with our
self confidence. you have to reprogram your thought process. be at one with the moment. notice your conscious breath. this life can be whatever you want it to be. ♥

In yourself you must..

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

trying to live without regrets.. not working so well

if I hadnt known better I would of thought I dreamed him. with him never far from my thoughts these days sometimes I fear I might have. if such a perfection existed here on earth then I must have been living in my own self made hell. cuz the likes of him I never knew existed. now he'll always be the one that got away. the one that wanted my heart when I didnt have it to give. & now... funny how hindsight is 20/20.. it had been right in my face the whole time. I'm trying not to kick myself for not seeing it. but its hard. he came into work to see me a few days ago. I wish we hadnt of been there so I could have pulled him closer.. as soon as he walked out that door I missed him. all those times my ex commented about our long distance relationship "what if you meet someone.." I should have listened & gave my heart to a man who deserved it. fuck...

dontcha hate it

when you miss your chance at something great?..

I found him smiling under the pieces of me that hadnt broken yet
in a perfect picture my heart sang
in a blind portrait I see whats always been in front of me
the whispers of love in the shadows of his blue eyes

I still be(lie)ve in love

I miss having someone to touch me not only with passion, but emotion too. being single sucks.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

hell~o again

the great thing about my life is every time I think there's no possible way I can be any stronger, I get proved wrong. I feel like there's this huge hole in my chest where my heart used to be. it came to be from my breakup. then life piled on top of it. now there's no one around. my 3 best friends I cant even talk to. everyone else is caught up in their own lives. did you know you can never really get used to being alone? being a libra & all about balance I cant wait to seal up this hole for good. its time keep all the promises I made to myself, keep in touch with the connections in life I've made & be happy. keep focus on my passions. I guess all this has alot to do with why I started this blog to begin with. I tend to be too analytical. I spend alot of time in my head with nowhere for my thoughts go. honestly if 1000 people read it & only 10 understood any of it, that would be enough for me. if I can help one person in knowing they are not alone by reading what I've been through, then its all worth it. guess I never thought about how exposing it can be splaying myself to strangers. funny how that can be easier than opening up to people around you. although when it comes to writing these types of entries, well any of them really, I do it for myself first. if you've been following my work, I just want to say thank you. all are welcome here. ♥ ~K