there is a me long since forgotten, small & trembling, curled up in the corners of your lips, still begging you to smile..

i spent 1000s of days loving him even if it wasnt right. my nights i would die trying.

when I woke I was always afraid of what I'd find, raising my glance to see the dead in her eyes.

the memory of you is twisting my insides like a spider thats tightly bound her reluctant pray

& there, waiting for me neath the softest winter's whisper, was you

I can still feel you like ether seeping out of my skin

ov sticks & stones & the way he breaks me

its frightening to remember his blood on my hands..
broken, he fell before me, heart hung bleeding like a romantic tragedy
...my halfhearted sympathies leaking through the cracks

there are days I can wake & not cry at the first thought of you
I can smile like I've been breathing since you left
days I can open my eyes to a life of never loving you
& I can laugh like my heart isnt lying here breaking..

rapture.

in the whispers of the universe our souls made promises to eternity ~ scared vows as mortals we could not keep ~ I carved the alchemy of my heart's mourning on the trembling lips of lovers dancing in the marble.d walls of heaven

bound & gagged
mute.d sun.days
the needle bends.
(..s.hallowed dirty streets...)
everything is wrong again..

silent are the amber hills
on nights following the rains

ember shots in negative .exposure
my worlds on the verge of the upside of down

fevery rosed.. ...& scissored
in silken spirals of a blackened steel blue
I found.. me