Wednesday, March 31, 2010
under a charcoaled spring moon
when all of me ached for him
& the irises whispered his name
in every part of my heart he was written on
Wide eyed & dressed to the nines
I had walked into this dream
with a slenderly strut
Clouds parted in the sky
until his lips met mine
& the heavens collided
She took the pieces of him that has him missing from himself
& all I got was the lukewarm leftovers numbing my teeth on a 1,000 mile flight
"But I love him!" I screamed in my head
Reality's arms pulling me away
Daylight burns my eyes
The walls are closing in
as I wake up alone
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
I've been struggling to find purpose in my life. The best thing I've been able to come up with is I'm here to share my stories with others, whether it be through my poetry or my new found need to splay myself here for the world to see. To offer comfort, hope, empowerment. With the craziness I've been through I could write a few novels I'm sure. An emotionally unavailable alcoholic of a "father", a 5 year abusive relationship with my daughter's father, not to mention I'm an ex meth addict & have issues with bulimia as well. Pain builds character. I am survivor, never a victim.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
I found him under the upside of down
in the wisp of a dream
glowing silver in the shadows of me
I remember the last time I touched him. ( "Please God, don't make me left him go.." ) I look back on it now & wished I would have turned around to watch him leave but I couldn't even bring myself to walk away.. I wish I would have cried, screamed, anything just so I wouldn't have to wake up alone, without him. Again.
Yet here I am. A lonely poet with no one to listen to my thoughts but my paper. & how long do I really have before the hope in my pens runs dry?
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
my body, for what it wanted to give.
"the pretty intricacies that make intimacy like poetry"
~ saintedmad ~
Saturday, March 20, 2010
when kismet forges an exhale in the shadows of love
That bitter off kilter feeling of homesick
the taste of stale smoke
& whiskey stained regret still lingering on my lips
The angels wept that night
& even the strongest sense of self couldn't wash you off me
Thursday, March 11, 2010
I lay in the hope of love
The imprint of him still carving up my thighs
In breathless whispers
fingers tracing shadows on the outline of my hips
Back arched against his chest
His breath burning reveries down my spine
as he kissed me again
for the first time
I fought so long, so hard only to find him already inside my heart. Maybe it's cause no matter how crazy things are feeling in my life every time I hear his voice none of that matters anymore. We stop the world from spinning & all that's left is the space between his lips & mine.
In 5 minutes he erases all my doubts. Not only about myself but about us, life, everything. With a feeling like that its hard not to get lost in the "forever" of things, but with something so perfect how could it not work? Love conquers all right? Hope, it's this amazing little constant reminder for us to live in the now. Be thankful for whats in front of us & cherish the experience. It's all we have when tomorrow is not promised.
What is there if there isn't love? & what is life without love, without hope? Have you really lived until you've felt your lover's touch on your skin? Lost your breath in their eyes? When you believe in love you have to think that even if you feel you've found your soul mate & if it doesn't work out, then there has to be something better suited for you out there. There has to be.
There's still that part of me that believes that there's one right person out there for everyone but that could just be the hopelessly romantic side of me wearing rose colored glasses again.
I've never been a traditional girl. I write my own rules when it comes to matters of the heart. Love for me is to be lost in the moment with the most perfect man, in the most imperfect situation.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
@oshum on Twitter
The tears of recognition will cleanse the mirror of perception, illuminating the path to spiritual conscious awakening
Mental Focus: Tool for narrowing desires into concentrated beams of energetic projektion allowing manifestation of such desires.
Around his neck he wears ~ adoring hearts on a string of sweet words ~ trophies of poetic license ~ casanova fatalities
@Ysabeluna ~ Twitter
incognito love ~ demands no reciprocity ~ yet, i ache for your identity
@lippy73 ~ She looks for herself / in your glance, your touch, your love / leaves all else behind
Monday, March 8, 2010
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Saturday, March 6, 2010
on the other side reason
love plays here
He stares at me through hungry orphan eyes
in a thirst for (com)passion
& erases the lines of where I thought I existed
I painted him somewhere in between my dreams
& that black inked night when my pens ran dry
neath the scattered remnants of fallen stars
I am a tattered paper doll
folding under his finger tips
in silent prayer
that he'll take his time in breaking my heart
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Every now & then I have to force a gasp just to know this isn't some fairytale I've created in my head from loneliness. From it I've learned the beauty of pain is being able to appreciate love that much more, even if it seems to be one sided. Even if it feels like everything you never knew you always wanted could slip through your fingers in one moment.
Like you've given so much of yourself that there's not even enough left for you at times.
What else are you supposed to do when your heart belongs to someone long before you ever gave it away?
I am clad in a dreamer's hope, making smoke signals with my beggar's blanket, praying my love will soon follow. Gives a whole new meaning to keeping warm, doesn't it?
Although sometimes I feel like I'm in the middle of an ocean, attempting to swim to shore with one arm. Like I've painted an unrealistic portrait of love. But isn't choking on the butterflies how its supposed to be? The feeling that you've found home hidden in their eyes, like that's where you belong.
Sometimes I think that even if everything in you is screaming for your heart not to get broken, sometimes you just have to dive in face first. Be prepared to hit your head on the concrete & live with no regrets.