I've done something I'm not proud of.. I hope to be able to forgive myself for it one day.
relationships with friends are always a good idea on paper, just like my experiences with men. then what happens when things go wrong? I lose 2 friends in one month. I think my loneliness has lead to some things out of character.. & then everybody gets hurt. I feel.. less. & empty again. I was selfish & wrong & I wish I could tell her I'm sorry..
its been a hell of a month. though peace amongst chaos sounds impossible, I hope to find my balance.
its times like this I try to look at the beautifully unexpected things, connections & friends that I do have. & that means more than anything.