'heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts. I was better after I had cried than before–more sorry, more aware of my own ingratitude, more gentle.'

prism'd
under ancient spirals of light
I am earth
I am hope
I am love
I am omnipresent
I am

To renounce all craving for what is not obtained unsought and to be satisfied with what comes unsought, without being elated or depressed even by them - this is contentment. (Yogavishistha Ramayana)

heaven awaits.

finally.. after 8 months I am at peace. a 4 hour call, some vintage emotions & a broken innocence splayed before me.. finally.. I can just breathe.

love is precious. love is life. shattered souls are too common these days. hopefully one day they will find peace. until then, my heart aches for you..

in the ruins of vanity

there was a time he was the all around never ending of me
the upside of down in me..
I used to bend myself beautiful in pretty words & a lover's hope..
I'd leave my heart written on dying stars
crimsoned in flames,
coiled in my love
scattered in miles of heavens he'd never look up to see

I was left barely there
standing naked, dressed in silence before the storm
...if only I had loved myself that way...

I have found life since then
scribbled on the sides of mystic moons
& cavernous pains
free from ego stained trappings
splayed in naked innocence
& severed stitches..

breaking away from me.

my condition does not confine nor define me.

Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect: it just means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections. ~ Buddhist Teaching

"When you're inspired, your heart sings in appreciation for every breath; and you're tolerant, joyful, and loving." - Dr. Wayne Dye

the world through espresso eyes

sometimes I envy children. that innocence that allows us to see the world with absolute amazement. the ability to create ourselves. anything is possible until we are told otherwise. children are a constant reminder to stay present in the chaos of our afflicted minds. part of losing our innocence is from the act of always being told no & 'you cant do that'. what would you do if you knew you could do anything? what reality would you create for yourself? would you change the world? the only thing holding you back you, is you. stop making excuses.

(sub)conscious musings

stuck stuck stuck. how can it be so easy to be aware of my awareness & ability to make the conscious shift from an anxiety ridden, self pitying mess with agoraphobic tendencies to being at complete peace, cuz when I'm down I feel so helpless, like my world is collapsing inward.

I was told once I needed to be able to look at myself like my best friend. would I be so critical & quick to judge then? would I obsess about how when I smile one eye always closes more than the other? or how my head is too big & my ears & nose make me look mousy? or would I learn to accept & love these things like a real friend should?

today my soul was at ease. a tranquility I'm hoping projects onto others in my presence. so 1 outta 7 isnt bad. at least I have that.

the ego dwells in the subconscious, the negative thought process. its cancerous to the soul. are you present enough feel the self pity manifesting into physical pain? like the cold steel of a knife twisting between shoulder blades. sometimes its a thick black liquid smoke boiling up inside of you. pay attention to this shift. your conscious breath will bleed out that dark energy. remember to meditate for balance.

been a while

I've found myself looking forward to the rest of my life. the storms inside me have quieted.. but so have my muses.. & I feel like there could never be enough time.. I've been truly blessed with love from amazing friends. ...perception really is key.