happy birthday Aaron

the ego dwells in the subconscious, the negative thought process. its cancerous to the soul. are you present enough feel the self pity manifesting into physical pain? like the cold steel of a knife twisting between shoulder blades. sometimes its a thick black liquid smoke boiling up inside of you. pay attention to this shift. your conscious breath will bleed out that dark energy. remember to meditate for balance.

Mr. Fino

I miss you. not a day goes by in which I dont think of you. I'm so sorry for the way everything happened between us. know doing what I did was the only way to take care of myself. & thats what you always wanted, wasnt it? your absence from my life is palpable. & painful. but I am so thankful to have met you.. the impact you made on my life will never be forgotten. maybe in another life I'll find you there.. when we're cats.. & the simple problems of our mortal world fail to exist & we can be friends again.. until then.. you'll never leave my heart.. I love you.

nowhere & everywhere..

somewhere between spokane & solitude

when father time & death collide

been a while

I've found myself looking forward to the rest of my life. the storms inside me have quieted.. but so have my muses.. & I feel like there could never be enough time.. I've been truly blessed with love from amazing friends. ...perception really is key.

b.leached & screaming ~ the heavens have fallen ~ burning kingdoms dying inside me ~ jaded beauty kissed in severed stitches

inside (&) out

thank you universe

You might have believed that you had everything under control, but the messages you're receiving from deep within your subconscious can indicate that something else is going on. It's one thing to filter out your own mental noise in order to fully show up in the present moment. But buried desires don't necessarily go away and now they may be coming back to remind you of what you truly want. Embrace your unfulfilled dreams, even if you cannot manifest them at this time.

st joesph

"Live more in your imagination. Give yourself the freedom to wander in
unfamiliar territory in your mind and to explore new possibilities in
your fantasies, excluding nothing. These imaginative meanderings will
ultimately become the catalysts for living an unlimited life."
- Dr. Wayne Dyer, excerpted from Wisdom of the Ages

What we do NOT need in this world is more monotony. Seek your uniqueness. There can be only one YOU.

Propagate and nourish your inner garden. Let it flourish. Wild & savage flora or mystic forests - whatever you desire.

~ Otep

nicking veins of collective unconsciousness

I stood unbidden
& breathless
under the static of skylines shattered

'.....the conditions of existence' he mumbled
victorian shadows about him
'the stillness in me.. it dies surging amongst chaos'

'I saw you under october rains..
ethereal lightening like twisted metal..' I whispered
'I saw you there.
somewhere you had never been but always were..
lost in a stalemate.
drunk on knowledge'

'I feel like I've stared down the soul of death
.....but this time I wasnt afraid'
...light dimming in caustic eyes

breaking the sky
he rains secrets in the shadows of thunder

bleeding between the lines..

I found him shak(en)ing on his knees
sunken cheeks
& hollowed
paying homage to false gods
with blind eyes too tired to see the light

sometimes when its all so black
& the want turns to need
we bow to the idea of becoming a lesser man
a selfish man
formless
& drug stitched

these days self loathing comes in pill form
& you can snort enough to make the most vengeful demons seem like friends

heart in hand
barely breathing
this was where I left him..
under sorrow's broken bones
& battered flesh
fading to gray
& stripped of soul

....these chapters need rewritten

humming in the tones of black

on the darkest nights I bleed poetry
from the tourniquet mouths of deaf muses
d(r)owning colors
under the melting dusk of a lithium skyline

I wear of a needled heart
sorely stitched to bloody sleeve
crudely fashioned
under a disfigured grace
smoke red
& voiceless

1,000 steps

the heart tree



I promised him he wouldnt be forgotten..
















the garden of peace

when colors move

in the shallow beatings of restless hearts ~ silent desperation.. reminiscent of passion ~ where love means more than breath ~ meet me there..