so my niece that I worked with at my last job got laid off last week. I havnt worked in months. today she already has a job. F.M.L.

I just want to crawl in a hole & disappear.

everyone, even the bf seems to think its soo fucking easy. 'have you even tried?' he asks me. which makes me feel like even though he knows me better than anyone, not even he understands where I am right now. I've tried. I've spent hours online putting in applications for minimum wage pos jobs. for nothing. only promises of interviews that never happen.

he doesnt understand what its like to be so depressed you just become lost in this hopelessness. ...every time I've gotten my hopes up about a job I just get knocked down. I feel useless.. worthless..

the last couple days have been the best I've felt in months. only to end up here again.

'why cant you be happy with what you have?' everyone says.

some days.. I cant bring myself to do anything other than sleep. just because I dont want to face my reality.

I'm trying to create my own. the best I fucking can. but no one sees that. they all just see what I'm not doing.

he doesnt get it.. nobody gets it..

I feel like I'm drowning..