RISE AGAINST - SAVIOR

It kills me not to know this but I've all but just forgotten
What the color of her eyes were and her scars or how she got them
As the telling signs of age rain down a single tear is dropping
Through the valleys of an aging face that this world has forgotten
There is no reconciliation that will put me in my place
And there is no time like the present to drink these draining seconds
But seldom do these words ring true when I'm constantly failing you
Like walls that we just can't break through until we disappear

So tell me now
If this ain't love then how do we get out?
Because I don't know
That's when she said I don't hate you boy
I just want to save you while there's still something left to save
That's when I told her I love you girl
But I'm not the answer for the questions that you still have

But the day pressed on like crushing weights
For no man does it ever wait
Like memories of dying days
That deafen us like hurricanes
Bathed in flames we held the brand
Uncurled the fingers in your hand
Pressed into the flesh like sand
Now do you understand?

So tell me now
If this ain't love then how do we get out?
Because I don't know
That's when she said I don't hate you boy
I just want to save you while there's still something left to save
That's when I told her I love you girl
But I'm not the answer for the questions that you still have

1000 miles away
There's nothing left to say
But so much left that I don't know
We never had a choice
This world is too much noise
It takes me under
It takes me under once again
I don't hate you
I don't hate you, no

So tell me now
If this ain't love then how do we get out?
Because I don't know
That's when she said I don't hate you boy
I just want to save you while there's still something left to save
That's when I told her I love you girl
But I'm not the answer for the questions that you still have

I don't hate you
I don't hate you, no

that moment you realize what you wanted isnt what you deserve..

I refuse to settle for anything less than what I'm willing to give.

my love for you is slowing dying..

one of the last times I saw my ex he said to me 'youre naked before you even take your clothes off.' ....

this past week or so is the best I've felt since everything happened. I've been happy, felt alive.

the idea of being completely exposed to someone is more terrifying than I ever imagined. but he was right. who I am now.. is completely naked. the parts like this, the ones that hurt that I dont want anyone to see, theyre there, open in my eyes & even with as protected as I try to keep myself.

it seems like the world has forgotten how to be honest, to be real. everyone is so surface level, hiding behind their masks. its safer that way I spose. people harden.

sometimes I wish I could. maybe the idea of putting myself out there for love wouldnt be so.. .... ...makes me feel like the bubble boy. too fragile maybe. too open & too honest & too real. never thought I'd look at it as being too real..

I'm feeling so vulnerable & pretty scared at how easily my heart could be crushed again..

tonight is the first time I cried over everything in a while.. ok maybe a week or so. hell its hard to remember how long it was ago.. I just kinda pushed it all away to be able to deal. as hard as it is tonight to be back in this place I know it wont last. it helps me to let go & move on. & in a way, the tears are freeing..

I may forget the things you said but I'll never forget the way you made me feel..

its funny how you can wake up one day & feel like you're just learning how to breathe.. what a beautiful thing..

I'm learning to be thankful for every experience I've had. life is happening for me, not to me..

“I want a soulmate who can sit me down, shut me up, tell me ten things I don’t already know, and make me laugh. I don’t care what you look like, just turn me on. And if you can do that, I will follow you on bloody stumps through the snow. I will nibble your mukluks with my own teeth. I will do your windows. I will care about your feelings. Just have something in there.” ~ Henry Rollins

'The greatest irony of life is loving the right person at the wrong time, having the wrong person when the time is right and finding out you love someone after that person walks out from your life and sometimes you think you’re already over a person but when you see them smile at you, you’ll suddenly realize that you’re just pretending to be over them just to ease the pain of knowing that they will never be yours again. For some, they think that letting go is one way of expressing how much you love the person. Most relationships tend to fail not because the absence of love; love is always present. It’s just the one was being loved too much and the other was being loved too little as we all know that the heart is the center of the body but it beats on the left. Maybe that’s the reason why the heart is not always right. Most often we fall in love with the person we think we love only to discover that for them, we are just for past times, while the one who truly loves us remains either a friend or a stranger. Here’s a piece of advice: let go when you’re hurting too much, give up when love isn’t enough and move on when things are not like before. There is someone out there who will love you even more, surely then, you will know true love.'

my soul had made a promise his heart couldnt keep..