you had always only stuck your foot in the door when I was repeatedly slamming my heart in it

“If you hold back on the emotions–if you don’t allow yourself to go all the way through them—you can never get to being detached, you’re too busy being afraid. You’re afraid of the pain, you’re afraid of the grief. You’re afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails. I thought about how often this was needed in every day life. How we feel lonely, sometimes to the point of tears, but we don’t let those tears come because we are not supposed to cry.. Or how feel a surge of love for a partner but we don’t say anything because we’re frozen with the fear of what those words might do to the relationship”
— Morrie Schwartz

I fell in love with a dream that still wakes me, screaming..

I am so fucking tired of *still* giving more of a shit than you ever did

(I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me)

all I ever wanted, was for you to love me the way I loved you.

'don't fucking ask a person to bleed for you & then sit like a snake in quiet unresponse when they hand you their guts. seriously? fuck you.'

lost, I wander silently through these memories & wonder how you are still the pain that shakes me

the ghost of you still lingers round the corner, waiting to catch me with a noose made of your memory so I can hang myself

If the moon smiled, she would resemble you. You leave the same impression of something beautiful but annihilating. ~ Sylvia Plath

is this how it works? in this room the hours of love still make shadows. when you left you took almost everything - Bukowski

the ghosts of you still fill this room
like the pain that fills my lungs,
drowning me in the infinite wounds of your memory

when you left I became buried inside myself.
I gave you pieces of me I'm still trying to get back.
I hope one day, in another existence, another life,
we can be like we were..
maybe we'll be owls..

until then, I miss my friend..

'One of the hardest things to do in this world is to watch someone you love & care about lose themselves right before your tear filled eyes. All because they think they aren’t good enough to be loved, don’t deserve to have real love, and they can’t see how beautiful of a person they truly are.

You’re basically forced to watch the person you love slowly die in front of you from the inside out. The only thing you can do is keep them in your heart, hold their heart inside of you forever & never allow yourself to forget the Angel that they will always be in your eyes.

I will remember who you really are until the day I take my last breath. That I promise you.'

at a glance I knew what it was to fold myself into you
to weep among wilting lilies
& sigh at the sound of my heart breaking..

I hope it doesnt haunt you like it has me..

you turned out to be everything you promised me you'd never be.. thats what hurts more than anything..

Fuel - Hemorrhage

Memories are just where you laid them
Drag the waters ’till the depths give up their dead
What did you expect to find?
Was there something you left behind?
Don’t you remember anything I said when I said

Don’t fall away, and leave me to myself
Don’t fall away and leave love bleeding
In my hands, in my hands again
Leave love bleeding
In my hands, in my hands
Love lies bleeding

Oh hold me now I feel contagious
Am I the only place that you’ve left to go
She cries her life is like
Some movie black and white
Dead actors faking lines
Over and over and over again she cries

Don’t fall away, and leave me to myself
Dont fall away, and leave love bleeding
In my hands, in my hands again
Leave love bleeding
In my hands, in my hands
Love lies bleeding

And I wanted
You turned away
You don’t remember, but I do
You never even tried

Don’t fall away and leave me to myself
Don’t fall away and leave love bleeding
In my hands, in my hands again
Leave love bleeding
In my hands, in my hands
Love lies bleeding