Wednesday, May 4, 2011
how do you define love?
Definition of LOVE
1
a (1) : strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties (2) : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3) : affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests
a : the object of attachment, devotion, or admiration
to be able to say youre in love with someone , does it need to last an average amount of time? if perception is reality, & in that moment & every passing second you feel that person running underneath your skin, why cant that be love. in love with someone to your core til the only thing you know is how to make them laugh again, anything to make them happy.. even if it doesnt last, a few days, months.
I'm rambling again.
I keep forgetting I have no friends left to read this.
Definition of LOVE
1
a (1) : strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties
a : the object of attachment, devotion, or admiration
to be able to say youre in love with someone , does it need to last an average amount of time? if perception is reality, & in that moment & every passing second you feel that person running underneath your skin, why cant that be love. in love with someone to your core til the only thing you know is how to make them laugh again, anything to make them happy.. even if it doesnt last, a few days, months.
I'm rambling again.
I keep forgetting I have no friends left to read this.
unlearning & the book of secrets.
renounce your old perceptions
perception is the world; the world is perception
the world is in you
your life is a product of your awareness
on some dimension or other, every event in life can be causing only one of two things: either it is good for you, or it is bringing up what you need to look at in order to create good for you.
let go:
make the most of every experience
don't obsess over right & wrong decisions
stop defending your self image
go beyond risks
make no decision when in doubt
see the possibilities in whatever happens
find the stream of joy
instead of looking for sensory overload that lasts forever, you'll find that the experiences need to be enabled at the level of meaning & emotion
if you want to fully experience life, you must close the circle
it is much simpler not to have beliefs, which means being open to life as it comes your way, going with your own intelligence instead of stored judgments
in truth, suffering persists only to the extent that we allow ourselves to remain lost in our own creation
a healing relationship is based on awareness; in it both partners work to break old habits promoting suffering. they have to walk a fine line because compassion means that you appreciate the suffering someone else is experiencing, as well as your own. yet as the same time there has to be detachment, making sure that suffering, no matter how real, isnt the dominant reality. the attitudes that make for a healing relationship become part of a vision you hold for yourself & the other person.
perception is the world; the world is perception
the world is in you
your life is a product of your awareness
on some dimension or other, every event in life can be causing only one of two things: either it is good for you, or it is bringing up what you need to look at in order to create good for you.
let go:
make the most of every experience
don't obsess over right & wrong decisions
stop defending your self image
go beyond risks
make no decision when in doubt
see the possibilities in whatever happens
find the stream of joy
instead of looking for sensory overload that lasts forever, you'll find that the experiences need to be enabled at the level of meaning & emotion
if you want to fully experience life, you must close the circle
it is much simpler not to have beliefs, which means being open to life as it comes your way, going with your own intelligence instead of stored judgments
in truth, suffering persists only to the extent that we allow ourselves to remain lost in our own creation
a healing relationship is based on awareness; in it both partners work to break old habits promoting suffering. they have to walk a fine line because compassion means that you appreciate the suffering someone else is experiencing, as well as your own. yet as the same time there has to be detachment, making sure that suffering, no matter how real, isnt the dominant reality. the attitudes that make for a healing relationship become part of a vision you hold for yourself & the other person.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
The Agonist ~ And Their Eulogies Sang Me To Sleep
All I heard was the sound of fish who'd drowned.
All I saw was the inside of my eyelids.
All I said fell short of reaching open ears.
Words floating, clouding the view...
'See no, hear no, speak no evil' leaves you deaf, dumb and blind,
Because the bad is all you'll find.
A deeply heart-felt goodbye to the part of me that died
When I decided to put others before me,
Yes, my heart fell asleep - boredom and fatigue.
I always said I wanted to die smiling,
To pretend I'm at peace.
Now from my corpse beams a frigid, blank grin
And once hopeful eyes are sunken in.
Like a lullaby to the cradle is the eulogy to the casket.
All my flaws swept under the table
To grieve the porcelain doll that was me.
Their solemn songs sang me to sleep as my body escaped me.
Such a shameful masquerade!
Fleeting, frozen minutes on display.
Why is evolution such a shameful thing to say?
Can you feel your bodily decay?
Because I can sure as hell feel my brain going blank.
If my body betrays me, there's pollution to thank.
This condition infects my cells like it controls my mind.
Internal army, defend me behind enemy lines!
Fragile vehicle of mine! Don't abandon me yet!
There is so much to live for that we so easily forget.
Fascination with the fear... The concept escapes me.
All encompassing fate...
How it wrenches our hearts, torments our souls
And sings us all to sleep to an eternal keep,
No matter what beliefs, it sweetly sings us all...
All I saw was the inside of my eyelids.
All I said fell short of reaching open ears.
Words floating, clouding the view...
'See no, hear no, speak no evil' leaves you deaf, dumb and blind,
Because the bad is all you'll find.
A deeply heart-felt goodbye to the part of me that died
When I decided to put others before me,
Yes, my heart fell asleep - boredom and fatigue.
I always said I wanted to die smiling,
To pretend I'm at peace.
Now from my corpse beams a frigid, blank grin
And once hopeful eyes are sunken in.
Like a lullaby to the cradle is the eulogy to the casket.
All my flaws swept under the table
To grieve the porcelain doll that was me.
Their solemn songs sang me to sleep as my body escaped me.
Such a shameful masquerade!
Fleeting, frozen minutes on display.
Why is evolution such a shameful thing to say?
Can you feel your bodily decay?
Because I can sure as hell feel my brain going blank.
If my body betrays me, there's pollution to thank.
This condition infects my cells like it controls my mind.
Internal army, defend me behind enemy lines!
Fragile vehicle of mine! Don't abandon me yet!
There is so much to live for that we so easily forget.
Fascination with the fear... The concept escapes me.
All encompassing fate...
How it wrenches our hearts, torments our souls
And sings us all to sleep to an eternal keep,
No matter what beliefs, it sweetly sings us all...
Sunday, May 1, 2011
all I want is just one person to spend the rest of my life with. & even more than that.. a best friend. maybe I made the mistake of wanting both of those from the same person. but I thought thats what a partner was supposed to be?.. being a person that has a hard time connecting with most, when I found a lover in my best friend a part of me died along with the relationship. or maybe its just in hibernation, evolving.. so... if more than one person in your life (3) tells you that you get too attached to people whos to say theyre right. & fuckin shit whats the matter with being attached to someone who was supposed to be right there with you? & since when does being in love & being hurt over things make you too attached? maybe I'd save myself some grief to start thinking maybe nobody will ever see things like I do.
I write this now cuz with the loss of my best friend I'm feeling a bit lost myself. no one knew me like he did. so why does it make me feel so out of sorts to not have someone to share the deepest parts of myself with? I'm not looking for that closeness to know I'm ok. its more than just wanting to spend my time with someone. I want to share everything about me with someone who can appreciate it. to be uplifted. to find someone who frees me. as I write this I question if these are things I need to be doing for myself. & its not like that, its not for validation purposes. maybe I just dont want to feel so alone in the world. I just want someone to get me.
everyone is so caught up in their lives & has hardly any time. it feels like the deepest parts of me are just to be locked away never to be found again.
all I want to do is live, love. to be loved, to be in the present, just be. how do you enjoy the present with the people in it without being concerned itll never be more than that. I'm so tired of the bullshit shallow interactions. idk how I got these ideas of people being around all your life. too much tv as a child maybe.
everybody comes & goes only to serve their purpose in the moment. like life happening for you, not to you.
I'm tired of feeling like the only one in the world that has these values. & that, is what makes me feel so alone.
I write this now cuz with the loss of my best friend I'm feeling a bit lost myself. no one knew me like he did. so why does it make me feel so out of sorts to not have someone to share the deepest parts of myself with? I'm not looking for that closeness to know I'm ok. its more than just wanting to spend my time with someone. I want to share everything about me with someone who can appreciate it. to be uplifted. to find someone who frees me. as I write this I question if these are things I need to be doing for myself. & its not like that, its not for validation purposes. maybe I just dont want to feel so alone in the world. I just want someone to get me.
everyone is so caught up in their lives & has hardly any time. it feels like the deepest parts of me are just to be locked away never to be found again.
all I want to do is live, love. to be loved, to be in the present, just be. how do you enjoy the present with the people in it without being concerned itll never be more than that. I'm so tired of the bullshit shallow interactions. idk how I got these ideas of people being around all your life. too much tv as a child maybe.
everybody comes & goes only to serve their purpose in the moment. like life happening for you, not to you.
I'm tired of feeling like the only one in the world that has these values. & that, is what makes me feel so alone.
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