there isn't a darker name for our kind of words:
off.kilter, sacred.shaken, blasphemous.
it creates a stumbling orphan,
awake at her first funeral
and who was she besides the thud
under your fist.
the smell of sabotage
standing on an apology
made of graves.
what did you
see in the stare of last
that spring, he told me how.
to not fight about small things; they eventually bloom
bigger, like rosebuds, like water hitting pavement.
i said i always enjoyed storms
because they created imaginary bruises
behind eyes, like bolts of struck
like rain on my face.
the colour black
when it did strike him, years later,
he fell down alone.
taunting death too long,
and not only in his poems.....
that lovecraftian place
i want him to not stop
but if we had gone on, if we had dared,
on sheer buoyancy, we would have entered
that lovecraftian place
only heightens the craze;
where the point
of contact shimmers
light neither of us knows is blindness.
that was close.
they murmur, then count
off their small distances away from a drunk scene.
the swift electric current has seized.
the blue stones drowned them in their sockets.
RA and other small gods
thus the weeping endears her full
on his wide sly lips, helps her rise like a slain lamb
to more slaughter, next to the jackal.god, shaking
her mane of singed hair: what does he care.
as she becomes a child repeating the bad word,
and he is a god of the senses and
he wants to ruin her.
the mind, a spotlight.
inside the spotlight............
trains and wreckage
we are smoke and metal, strange coils,
.. .. one of the shroud and one of the hurrying body.
this shape made by our turbulence finally is
a circle, collapsing and shrieking,
into the tunnel of vicious affliction.
we refuse to depart.
for once, if i can leave enough tracks,
i can hurt you back.. ...
:voice, God, simultaneous:
i chant...s low,
all joy and menace, closing in
on the debris, the bleak batik of bone
on one last expressionistic lipsplit.
nose to neck with viscosity.
and bumps, small
feminine circumferences, tight
and terrible; fingers to match a spider's
.................. .. .do i mirror you yet?
unlearn every sound. soak it deeply.
every word i've swallowed grows, falters.
church is running late this eve.
mass held high.
ad Deum qui laetificat, juventutum meam.
no rest for the wicked,
from the needle.arm of twisted women.
i fear how you make me wind around the banister,
talking sepia over last suppers.
dies trae, dies illa. tantum ergo.
you bang my skull
against the rattling crib.backs.
not even dawn will
make you fade from me, in blacking lustre;
even the ones i love,
in rosary cheeks and breastcrackedplates
just for this brief heartbeat,
..(pectoris pello pepulli pulsum es mortuus quod frendo..)
because i fear i will fade
in your hands,
die on us,
even as you recite,
in hope of resuscitation,
my actual name.
....... mary's breath, lily.of.the.valley, bleeding heart....
how to make a saint
an army of mouths.
an array of murdered cleavage.
towards four quarters .
there is no such thing as unmartyr'd faith;
so i pray mutely in your unrepentant ears.