you had always only stuck your foot in the door when I was repeatedly slamming my heart in it

And I, infinitesima­l being,
drunk with the great starry
void,
likeness, image of
mystery,
I felt myself a pure part
of the abyss,
I wheeled with the stars,
my heart broke loose on the wind.
― Pablo Neruda

Let me sit here on the threshold of two worlds, lost in the eloquence of silence. - Rumi

“If you hold back on the emotions–if you don’t allow yourself to go all the way through them—you can never get to being detached, you’re too busy being afraid. You’re afraid of the pain, you’re afraid of the grief. You’re afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails. I thought about how often this was needed in every day life. How we feel lonely, sometimes to the point of tears, but we don’t let those tears come because we are not supposed to cry.. Or how feel a surge of love for a partner but we don’t say anything because we’re frozen with the fear of what those words might do to the relationship”
— Morrie Schwartz

“But we are alone, darling child, terribly, isolated each from the other; so fierce is the world’s ridicule we cannot speak or show our tenderness; for us, death is stronger than life, it pulls like a wind through the dark, all our cries burlesqued in joyless laughter; and with the garbage of loneliness stuffed down us until our guts burst bleeding green, we go screaming round the world, dying in our rented rooms, nightmare hotels, eternal homes of the transient heart.”
— Truman Capote

its been a better couple of days.

tonight I laid curled up in his arms while he fell asleep. truth be told, I never wanted it to end. I just wanted to lay there for hours, burying myself in him.

me: I have never felt someone so totally through me. all the way to the depths of me..
him: you feel me all the way through you because you have wrapped your heart with mine in eternity.

The meaning of life is to love yourself completely, free yourself and others from guilt and become totally visible no matter what the risk. ~ Jim Carrey