the man I once loved is dead. I've been fighting to separate the man I fell in love with from the man he is now. the man he is now is so.. emotionally fucked, damaged. I see that now more than I ever have. he wants to dwell in his insanity.. the man I loved was in pain, but not.. not like he is now.. my heart breaks for him..

I look forward to the day I can completely separate those two. maybe then he & I can be friends again. til then.. I miss him. at least.. who I thought he was.. I dont long for the love that we had but the closeness, the friendship..

some things just arnt meant to be..